In Part 1, I mentioned my surprise that Jarryn had picked up on the significance of the word ‘hospital’ with regards to my Cystic Fibrosis and accepted my various treatments as just another part of life.
For me, the revelation in the second part of this interview was the extent of his compassion. I’ve always been aware that Jarryn had a compassionate nature as he’d always been very patient and considerate of our elderly Gran, however, I was too close to see that his compassion also extended to me.
Did you notice anything different before your Mum told you she was going on the transplant list?
The first thing I noticed was that Mum had been doing IV’s for ages. She didn’t seem to be any better than before she had started them, then she went into hospital, which I knew she didn’t like, (the last time was three years ago when she’d had a bleed, she preferred to do all her treatments at home).
When she came home from hospital, she brought an oxygen concentrator with her. That had never happened before. Even though she only needed oxygen at night, it worried me. I also noticed that she didn’t seem to walk as fast as before and she was getting very puffy when she talked.
How did you feel when your Mum told you she was going on the transplant list?
A mix of being both worried and relieved.
I was worried that she might die, but at the same time, I was relieved that there was something that could be done to make her better.
You moved to Sydney to live with your Dad a few months after your Mum was listed on the transplant list.
Was that a hard decision to make?
And what factored into your decision?
Mum told me that it didn’t matter if I stayed in Perth or if I moved to Sydney. Either she would be a match for a set of donated lungs or she wouldn’t. My physical location wasn’t going to change that outcome.
After that, I thought about all the things I was doing to help her, going to the shops and the library and I worried a bit how she would cope once I was gone. Then I realised how much she was still doing for me and I figured there would be less shopping and less for her to worry if she didn’t have to look after me. I knew it would be easier for Grant too, then he’d only have to worry about looking after Mum.
I also thought about when my Pop had died. We’d seen him a few weeks beforehand, but when the call came for us to go to the hospital to say goodbye, Mum decided not to go. She said she wanted to remember him the way he had been. I thought about that a lot and figured Mum would probably want me to remember her the way she was and not watch her getting sicker.
Once I’d thought about all these things, the decision to move over east to live with Dad was easy.
I knew it was the right thing to do.
But it was still hard to leave.
You came back for the next school holidays. How did you feel?
Mum was really sick. She was on oxygen all the time and she was also using the BiPap a lot. She could barely walk or talk. Monkey was super protective.
This time when I left I was really really worried.
And it was a lot harder to get on the plane at the end of the holidays.
Part 3 Covers Jaryn’s feeling on the day he received the phone call telling him I was going into surgery.